You ever take a risk, reap the reward, and then panic because now you have this amazing thing that you could lose and that would be totally devastating? No? Just me? Okay…
I took a big personal risk recently. The result is that now my life is about a zillion times better than it already was. Now, though, I have a zillion times more to lose if I screw up this amazing thing. I know, I shouldn’t borrow trouble. Someone tell that to my insomniac anxiety disorder, please and thank you.
My life keeps improving in leaps and bounds, lately. Sure, there’s some struggles still, but I’m choosing to focus on the positive and uplifting this year and let the trouble sort itself as the time comes. I have abundant love and joy in my life and for the first time in a very long while, I can really see it clearly. I’ve connected with who I really am and it’s completely changed my outlook. Beautiful things that were already in my life seem brighter than ever in the glow of all the positive changes, too.
This year is going to be good, I’m certain of it.
I love my life. I love the people in it. I am even learning to love myself. More than anything, I am learning that love, in all it’s forms, is not a finite resource.
Love is not always easy. It’s not always gentle or even friendly. Sometimes love means letting go of something or someone that you thought you couldn’t live without. Sometimes love is doing what must be done even when it hurts like hell. Sometimes, it’s holding tight no matter how hard the target of your love pulls away. Sometimes, it’s repeating the same words over and over until the listener believes your message of love. Love is “Hello” with a hug… and sometimes it’s “goodbye” with tears.
Love takes so many shapes. Hours long talks about the mysteries of the universe with a dear friend is no less a picture of love than spending whole days lost in your lover’s embrace. Love is no less because it is platonic or romantic, heterosexual or homosexual, monogamous or ethically non-monogamous, sexual or asexual, self-love or love for others… Love is magical, and intense, and diverse, and most of all, it is infinite and unique to every person.
This is the year in which I choose to embrace love in all its forms; the year in which I learn to love myself and to give freely of my love for others. This is the year that I make peace with the darker side of love; the love that lets go when it has to and fights when it must. This is the year in which love will be my guiding light through every struggle and my comfort through every storm. To every story there is a grain of truth, and the world is full of love stories and happy endings. It’s my turn for a happy ending. No… No, not a happy ending. A happy beginning!
I dub this officially The Year of Infinite Love. Let’s get this party started!