Tag: poetry

Exhausted Soul

A free-writing exercise to clear my head. I guess it made a kind of poemish thing. 


So tired,
my soul aches for rest, release,
A moment’s reprieve
From a lifetime of scars
And seeping, never-healing wounds.

So helpless,
Circumstance and chance
And decades of bad choices
All leading to a pit
The edge of which is lost from sight

So lost,
Which way is up?
I may never know for sure
I’ve lost my way so thoroughly
And this life comes with no map

So scared,
Afraid that I may never find
A way to set right this grand mess
Or make the “better life” I seek
Where I feel safe and free and firm

So tired,
of the voice inside my head
It tells me I am worthless
A failed experiment at life
I want to tune it out forever, but it’s so loud

So loved,
Thank the goddess for
The ones who see my broken form
And love me despite all my faults
They are my hope in hopeless times

So desired,
She comes to me
She holds me in the night
She brings me comfort in her arms
Her eyes tell me all I really need to know

So grateful,
Though I hurt and fear
Though tears may stain my pillow
I am grateful for the good I have
Love, hope, & safety even when I’m blind

So hopeful,
Even though I feel so helpless
There has to be a way to overcome
If only ’cause she says so, I must believe
There has to be an end to all the hurt

And yet… So tired.

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Night Terrors

Terror in a whisper
A foolish borrowed fear
Dread I welcome into me
A future so unclear
This love is something different
Something special
Something new
It’s nothing like I’ve ever known
This love I have for you
This passion tears right through me
I need you deep inside
I long to have you near me
absence I cannot abide
But when the shadows twist and stretch
And stars light up the sky
There’s terror in a whisper
That might one day say ‘goodbye’

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Skin Deep

Beautiful
This word I find
So very hard to swallow

When I feel
More like a pig
All sunken in its wallow

When I look
In the mirror
I do not see the beauty

I just see
Fat and ugly
Is Staring back out at me

But they say
I’m beautiful
Again again and again

Maybe I
Must soon accept
The words that they have spoken

Maybe what
It is that I
Am, in the mirror, seeing

Is not true
And only is
What I’m afraid of being

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Silence

Alone inside my head
Voices keep me company
They tell me what a fool I am
To think they’d ever comfort me

Alone inside my mind
Voices yelling in my brain
Telling me just how much I suck
My failures they’ll gladly explain

Alone in the night
Voices cannot touch me now
I’ve killed them all and burned the bodies
Free from the voices. Ask me how.

Alone in my glen
Voice of water sings to me
Hope is all that I feel tonight
At long last, I’m finally free

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Invisible

It’s just a fact that I am fat.

I know it’s true; it’s where I’m at.

I’m trying hard to shed the pounds,

But cruelty in my head resounds.

“Skip a meal or two, fat bitch!”

These words flip a painful switch.

Hate comes from inside and out

All because I’m rather stout.

But I will fight, no matter what,

To rid myself of this big gut,

And when I do, they all will see

That there is so much more to me

Than rolls and blubber; fat and skin.

The world will see me, when I’m thin

Until then, I’m invisible?

Perhaps, but not invincible.

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